Only Mark Cuban Can Make Hillary’s Campaign Sexy

Pictured above: Mark Cuban making a sexy duck face.

So Mark Cuban thinks he has what it takes to be the next Vice President. At first surprising, then quickly exciting. Who woulda thunk this election could make for even better television? The kicker is that he’s open to running with either politician. Which means that six months before the election, one of the most influential businessmen in America has still not picked a party.

Is Cuban qualified to be VP? I mean he’s certainly qualified to RUN for VP seeing as campaigning today is the same as being on a reality TV show where contestants are slowly eliminated. Would it be a good career move for him? I feel like a good part of his job on TV is being likable. A presidential campaign could either alienate some of his audience based on politics, or flat out make him look bad.

So now he’s being recruited by both parties, I assume. There’s no way Donald Trump is letting this opportunity pass, right? Unless Trump is afraid of Cuban’s massive hands ego overshadowing his. Apparently Hillary has been interested in Cuban and wants to set up a meeting. I’ve got to imagine Hillary holds the power in this meeting. I’m thinking its less ‘Hillary recruits Mark to play ball at Boise state’, and more ‘Judge Smails asks Danny if he wants the scholarship’ (Caddyshack clip). Otherwise it would be like Hillary was going on Shark Tank to pitch her presidency.

I could see it.

Hey, Mark. My name is Hillary Clinton and I’m asking for a $2.8 million dollar investment in exchange for a really cool office in the White House and the rights to your soul. 

Trump is sexy. Hill-dawg isn’t sexy. (When I say Trump is sexy, it doesn’t mean you have to think he’s sexy. But some people do. Hey, grandparents still find each other sexy.) Trump is sexy  because he says whatever he feels. It’s exciting for everyone, and it feels empowering to closeted white supremacists. Cuban has many of the same sexy qualities as Trump, but he’s less abrasive. He’s outspoken, but still a gentleman. He’s the elegant martini to a shot of Trump’s weird, gross vodka.

Between Cuban and Hillary, many voters will see something they like. That, plus the added “anyone but Trump” factor, and Hill/Cubes could take this election. I could even see Cuban running for himself one day.

Assuming Cuban and Trump don’t link up, who will Trump choose as VP? You gotta think Ben Carson. He’s not actually gonna choose Christie, right? Nobody likes Christie. The only benefit is that Christie is indebted to him. Literally. Christie will probably do whatever Trump says forever. He’s too sad to stand up for himself anymore.

hellochristie.jpg

Hello darkness, my old friend…

If Mark becomes Hillary’s running mate and they lose, maybe Cuban can take over Celebrity Apprentice.

(side thought: to whom does Mark Cuban turn for career advice?)