Millenials Really, Really Good at Living with Parents

Don’t say Millenials are good for nothing! We’ll take the dog out at least twice a week between filling out job apps shifts at Starbucks, and we may even wash a bowl once in a while, as long at it was just for cereal. Spaghetti bowls go in the dishwasher. Which we also won’t ever load or empty.

Being a fresh college grad is a weird situation. You’re in debt, you’re in desperate need of employment, and you missed the big wave of recruiting because you spent the last three months of your senior year getting shitfaced on Tuesday afternoons instead of waiting in line at a career fair for 3 hours to get 30 seconds of facetime with some kid from a consulting firm who probably graduated one class ahead of you. Not to mention, you’re four years behind anyone who didn’t go to college if you’re entering a career path where a college education isn’t a requirement.

“For the first time in 130 years, [living with parents] is the most popular living arrangement among adults, aged 18 to 34, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of census data.

Nearly a third of millennials live with their parents, slightly more than the share of their age group who live with a spouse or partner. For this age group, the researchers say, this is the first time that living at home has overtaken living with a spouse since the U.S. Census began keeping track in 1880.” via CNBC

This is no joke. You can’t pretend this isn’t happening. People are really stuck at home. And notice the age group is 18 to 34. I would hardly call a 34-year-old a Millenial. This is an epidemic, people.

I’m curious as to the long-term effects of this phenomenon. Could we see a return to the days of staying in your hometown and taking your place in a three-generation family? Our generation is so hellbent on “escaping” our hometowns, often with the vague expectation of a hollywood lifestyle. Which really makes us delusional. We look at YouTube stars as heroes and somehow think we’re all going to make it big in some way.

Take a look at the trailer for YouTube sensation Bo Burnham’s new standup special “Make Happy” where he gets philosophical about social media.

“Social media, it’s just the market’s answer to a generation that demanded to perform. So the market said, ‘Here; perform everything. To each other. All the time. For no reason.'” –Bo Burnham

It’s cynical, but what he’s saying is true. So… I guess we have our answer? Why go through the trouble of making it big in Hollywood when you already stunt on your 532 friends all day? Aren’t they the ones you have to prove you’re better than?

Metropolitan areas are too crowded, anyway. If your family has a house with heat, running water, and a WiFi connection, just Facebook message your high school sweetheart (who is also living back with his or her parents) and pop out a few grandkids for ol’ Mom and Dad.