This Website Sells Wigs So You Can Look Like Your Favorite MLB Player

So, good ‘ol Darren Rovell sprung this abomination on us all today. I can now channel all of my quarter life crisis anxiety into anger and disappointment and direct it at fanpelt, and for that outlet I thank you.

Screen Shot 2016-06-28 at 8.17.06 PM.png

Honestly, come on guys, unless this is a government ploy to track who will grow up to be a murderer, or at the very least a completely intolerable human being, then this is worst business idea in the history of mankind (that is not hyperbole).

Who is buying this? Who is wearing fake hair that mimics their favorite baseball player? The worst fans on planet Earth, that is who. I just thank god there are no St. Louis Cardinals with zany haircuts or my displeasure associated with this venture would be exponentially higher.

All this does is permit awful fans to be even more awful by wearing fake hair to compliment their full jerseys and obnoxious behavior. The type of fan that wears this hates advanced statistics, loves doing the wave, and boos every throw over to first to hold a runner.

Let us be honest with ourselves, you have to be such a herb to think this is a sweet look and chances are you are destined for a lonely existence.

If you even considered making this a future purchase for anyone, but a small child, then please exit this window, exit the internet, and exit the Earth.

It is our duty as a first world country and (somewhat) high functioning society to make sure the lifespan of this company is no more than 2 months, I need them bankrupt more than I need to breath. Let all of us feed off their failure as it is a sign we are progressing as a race (unless of course we’re dumb enough to elect Trump because then we’re probably destined to become an idiot nation full of morons wearing Noah Syndergaard’s flow under our hats).

 

P.S. little embarrassed the featured image shows the world I follow Darren Rovell.