#Freethenipple caught in a sandstorm

The summer season is filled with all the best things. Hot dogs, bonfires, and long days on the beach drinking warm Coronas, watching ancient grandparents soak up the sun like a freshly-paved asphalt driveway.

Think back to some of your past beach experiences and I’m sure you can recall a time or twelve where you became fascinated by the sand covered crowd and spent the whole day people watching. You might’ve even seen some humans who dare I say offended you – whether it was their poor beach etiquette or improper attire.

But let me ask you this, have you ever been offended by sand sculpture nipples? Have you?

It’s the hot new thing to be upset about in the world of we can’t take a joke, USA. On a beach in Falmouth, MA people have complained about one particular mermaid amongst a series of beautifully crafted, creative sand sculptures scattered around the vacation town. People were so offended, in fact, that the local police department made sure the photo of the mermaid was removed from Facebook. Can’t let any eyes be caught gazing on this one.

They’re complaining about the sculpture’s exaggerated, disproportionate breasts.

Yup this is it. This is where we draw the line. This is too far for everyone, really? First of all, it’s a sand sculpture. It’s not a portrait of a sultry-looking Megan Fox at a family diner, and oh yeah it’s not even a real person going TOFTB in a lounge chair. It’s a sculpture of a mermaid. She’s not even topless, if we’re getting literal here.

#Freethenipple is a real thing. It’s a feminist movement (and movie) that aims to “de-sexualize” the female nipple and let the girls run wild and free! While most people think that’s probably outrageous and unnecessary, a story like this leads me to believe that we could use a little education on it.

And while I could certainly keep going and get two buttons deep on my opinion as to why on earth anyone would be offended to the point of complaining about this, I’m just gonna leave it here and let this sink in for ya.

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Photo: Steve Haines, Associated Press