Step 1: Sing in an all male A cappella (this being two words is way harder than it should be for me to wrap my mind around) group… from Canada.
So, in case you missed it (first of all you did, because it didn’t even warrant TV air time and also if it did who would really be locked in for the A cappella rendition of O Canada?) during the opening to last night’s All-Star Game one member of “The Tenors” took it upon himself to throw a little “All Lives Matter” remix at us.
Ok, sure, everyone is entitled to their opinions, but there’s a little thing called time and place. Maybe take a minute to take the temperature in the room before you start going off script. And for our ‘Lone Wolf,’ Remigio Pereira, if you want to make a statement in support of a slogan that is wildly disliked maybe try and be a trustworthy source.
That leads us to step 2: Don’t be an “the Earth is flat” truther.
Oh yeah, that’s right, our guy is out there confused about how it’s possible that we don’t live on a flat object and why it’s never reported when people fall off the edge (spoiler alert: it’s because that has literally never f—ing happened, ever).
Perhaps the most egregious thing that came out of this little stunt was the press release that followed:
“The Tenors are deeply sorry for the disrespectful and misguided lack of judgment by one member of the group acting as a ‘lone wolf’ today during the singing of the Canadian national anthem at the Major League Baseball All-Star Game in San Diego.
The other members of the group are shocked and embarrassed by the actions of Remigio Pereira, who changed the lyrics of our treasured anthem and used this coveted platform to serve his own political views.
Our sincere apologies and regrets go out to everybody who witnessed this shameful act, to our fellow Canadians, to Major League Baseball, to our friends, families, fans and to all those affected.
The actions of one member of this group were extremely selfish and he will not be performing with The Tenors until further notice.”
First of all suuuuuuper strong stance there throwing Remigio in time out “until further notice.” Mock The Tenors all you want, but they don’t mess around when it comes to disciplinary action.
And second of all the whole ‘lone wolf’ tag they’ve hooked their boy up with is a little over the top, maybe? It’s not like he’s out here causing havoc in the streets, he changed one part of an anthem that did not even get shown on TV.
I honestly think sticking that title on him validates the move. No bro soaking up that A cappella life in a world where Pitch Perfect is a work of fiction would ever be known as a lone wolf under any other circumstances.
The other 3 members of The Tenors probably feeling pretty good about punishing ol’ Remigio, but little do they know the bad boy of A cappella and king of political ineptitude is laying in bed in a Motel 6 up in Canada somewhere, smoking a cigarette and telling an A cappella groupie about how the government has been lying to us all along about the shape of the Earth.
So, to sum things up if you want your political positions to be taken seriously:
1. Don’t sing in an A cappella group
2. Don’t polute everyone’s news feed with flat-Earth conspiracies