Beauty is pain: A lesson in eyebrow threading

365/365 days out of the year boys have it easier than girls. When there’s hardly a difference between your rolling out of bed and your fresh out of the shower look, life just doesn’t seem so hard.

Well it’s a duh moment that this is the polar opposite from what a female goes through on a daily basis. The most recent torture I’ve experienced? Eyebrow threading. *Please note: the female above in the featured photo looks 100 percent too pleasant. This method is painful, causes tears and redness and overall sadness.*

The eyebrow trend is HUGE in the girl world these days. Overnight, a variety of products and eyebrow maintenance methods popped up in retail stores and on beauty blogs everywhere. “Eyebrows on fleek” was a thing for a while and it put serious pressure on the majority of the female population to step up their  game.

We tweeze them, color them in with pencils and powder, sh*t I even had a “Brow Bestie” who was my go-to gal for a solid 2 hours of work on my brows per appointment.

But that was expensive, tiring and overall just not worth it. As easy as guys have it, girls out there are smart enough to know 99% of the beauty-related things we do are to impress or compete with other girls, not for a guy to notice or celebrate about.

Anyways –eyebrow threading. It’s a new way to torture yourself and completely hate everything about being a female! It dates back to the Persian heritage as a coming of age sort of thing for women entering adulthood or marriage, and the technique itself  uses a cotton thread to grip and yank hair out at the root.

Ouch.

The benefit? It’s more “exact” than waxing (they literally take every hair out individually) and faster than plucking. It’s actually more inexpensive than other methods, too. Practitioners use their mouths to hold the thread tight and it basically feels like a razor blade is just zipping across your forehead…back and forth, back and forth.

I don’t have any tattoos but I am almost positive this is worse than getting inked up. And if you’re a male species reading this, please stop now. I highly doubt you want to learn that girls have “mustaches” aka upper lip hair, that often needs to be waxed or threaded too. And it’s even more painful than the eyebrows! Oh, the horror!

The practitioner gives you some little tricks and tips, like holding your eyelids shut with your hands or popping your lip into your cheek for the mustache threading sesh. You leave in tears, but also feeling like a badass bitch on fleek. Beauty is pain, friends.