Pony Up Daddy! The Hottest Children’s Toy You Don’t Need This Holiday Season

Fasten your saddle, boys and girls. You might be struggling to find the perfect gifts with less than two weeks until Christmas, but you can now be sure there’s one new product on the market that you don’t need to add to your list.

Introducing, Pony Up Daddy! A very bizarre, erotic(?) looking velcro, strap-on product that allows children to safely secure themselves on top of his or her father’s back for a wild and adventurous ride. What’s in it for dad? Constantly being annoyed, the high risk for rug burn on the knees and hands, unavoidable back and neck pain and so much more!

 

The product is meant to help keep children from ripping or tearing at clothing or jewelry while performing some sort of ridiculous skit on top of someone’s back, of course. It comes in four, totally awesome colors and you can purchase it for $24.99 from a website that is as sophisticated as the World Wide Web circa 1995.

 

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Oh, and the product’s tagline? “It’s time to play with your kids again.”

You can watch the promotional video here (yes, Comic Sans is involved), but I highly recommend not to let curiosity get the best of you by scrolling through the YouTube comment section.

But let me put my Shark Tank hat on and think about some of this product’s (obvious) flaws and if I would invest in this bizarre toy or not.

First: the name. Pony Up Daddy immediately alienates a very specific group of shoppers and potential product owners — Moms. Hello!!! Of course kids can ride on anyone’s back…so it’s not super smart to call out in your product’s name that it’s only for one specific group. (In case you were wondering, they do make a smaller version for moms).

Second: the advertising. It’s a little whacky. If I could physically embed the video here I would show you just to force you to get a glimpse of how totally 2000-and-late the ads and website truly are. Trust me, people will buy ridiculous products, but you have to market them in a spectacular way, like Poo-Pourri. The scary 90s vibe ain’t working here.

Third: the price. For many of the As Seen On TV type of products on the show, it’s important to keep to a particularly low price point. For Pony Up Daddy, you’re looking at $24.99 and $5.95 S&H. Thinking how you’re child will grow out of this product rather quickly, physically and after boredom when they realize it doesn’t have a giant flashy screen –the price doesn’t seem worth it. Oh, and back surgery is quite expensive down the road.

Would I invest? Hell to the no. But, it you need a good laugh today, just spend 2 minutes of your time thinking about how completely ridiculous this product is. In a way, it’s so insane I actually love it. And it totally changed my perception on the phrase since “Pony Up Daddy” for me always meant you were just asking your dad for more money. (Maybe that’ll work this holiday season, too.)