Yesterday I wrote a piece about how we may need to forget Ronda Rousey.
But if I get to pick only one person to say we all should forget, I change my answer to Mariah Carey.
I developed a bad taste for Mariah after doing a story about her sister being busted for prostitution in Poughkeepsie. There are too many accounts of Mariah being the world’s absolute worst person in terms of how she treats her family, humans in general, and how she views herself as a nucleus to the cell that is this world.
Woke Note: Her brother, who publicly lashes out against Mariah and the issues that wake in her ego, was formerly a (failed) performer and is quoted saying, ‘There wouldn’t be a Mariah Carey if it hadn’t been for me.’ And my experience with sibling rivalries leads me to believe he’s got a stick up his ass and shouldn’t be held accountable.
Woke Note 2: Is cocaine Vince Vaughn really who you want to trust?
Anyway, let’s not focus on her past. She’s a woman who has been through more than all of us and has accomplished even more, and for that, I respect her. Mariah is an incredible artist, most importantly her cover of All I Want For Christmas which can light up a room quicker than Santa Claus himself, or even a bottle of Bailey’s.
But let’s get to it: Mariah’s New Year’s Eve performance. It wasn’t a performance at all. She showed up without her lip-sync track which may be worse than Janet Jackson showing up without a bra.
She could have done so many things that weren’t any of the things she did on live TV. It’s ridiculous.
The video. You’ve seen it. You winced. I winced. It was the longest 2 minutes of my day and I wholeheartedly defend my statement that it’s time to forget Mariah Carey.
She is no longer a good performer. That was trash. The NYE show is a big gig, running with the bulls of Superbowl and the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, a level Trump could only dream of at his inauguration. She didn’t even try to give an authentic performance. She barely even took a nibble at the idea of actually singing. Not even the mumble we all do when we don’t quite know the words to the song. To expose her actual voice to the world without the silky additives from the audio guys is beyond Mariah’s comprehension and that was black and white in tonight’s performance thus concluding that Mariah Carey is no longer a good performer.
And also, she’s not very bright. She was noted asking what time the ball drops on New Year’s Eve.
Page Six – The source added that Carey’s team was so unfamiliar with New York’s Times Square festivities that “when Dick Clark producers called to lock in her arrival time, Mariah’s team actually asked for clarification, ‘What time exactly does the ball drop?’”
That’s it. We need to forget about Mariah. Let her no longer be an A-lister and let her live on as a legend that only gets told at Christmas.
Also, definitely a strong maybe:
Mariah Carey bombed on stage last night on purpose to stir up attention for her reality show stay woke
— KFC (@KFCBarstool) January 1, 2017