Would You Want To Take A Trip To The Titanic Wreckage?

Short answer: No. Long answer: Absolutely not.

And I came to those conclusions before I found out that this 8-day excursion will cost a whopping $105,129 PER PERSON.

You know what you can do with $100,000? You could buy a Porsche 911 Carrera (with about $11k to spare), you could open your very own Dickey’s Barbecue Pit or you could (with a little creativity) get a degree from Forbes 40th ranked college, UC Berkeley.

Or a whole host of other stuff way more beneficial/cooler than venturing 2.5 miles underwater to look at metal tube that served as the watery grave to over 1,500 people in 1912.

Beginning in May 2018 the London-based luxury travel company, Blue Marble Private, along with OceanGate, a provider of “submersible assets,” will take 9 “adventurers” to see the Titanic.

The expedition will depart from Newfoundland, Canada and offer travelers a chance to see a sight that is more rare to human eyes than space or the summit of Mt. Everest.

Now, sure, this would be a cool thing to have on your resume and would serve as the ultimate trump card to all your friends that still won’t shut up about their study abroad trip (I pray none of my friend pony up $100k because I will never shut up about spending like .01% of my life in London), but you don’t even get to really see it.

This trip affords you the opportunity to hangout in a Cyclops 2 Submersible and “GLIDE over the ship’s deck with a GLIMPSE of where the famous staircase was once set…”

An+epic+expedition+to+dive+the+Titanic

Titanic_Scanning+(web)

When I first saw this story pop up I assumed you got to toss on some scuba gear and go and explore the nooks and crannies of the vessel that miraculously failed on its maiden voyage from Southampton to New York City, but nope, you get to a glorified drive by.

Even if it was more in depth (get it, depth, the ocean, ok), the ocean is the scariest place on the planet. Have you ever seen a sea exploration movie? Even if you haven’t, you’ve definitely seen The Titanic, and how’d that shit end? With death. So much death.

“Oh, Connor, you’re such a baby, those are just movies that won’t happen.”

Ok, fine maybe you won’t encounter a man-eating shark or a giant squid (even though you probably will), but did you see these real life sea monsters that Russian fisherman, with no regard to the nightmares he would inspire, brought to the surface last year?

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

NO THANK YOU. Not today underworld, I will not be paying $100k to enter your depths. And you may be thinking that you won’t encounter one of these creatures that clearly escaped through Hell’s gates on your adventure.

But, at the end of the day do you know the chance of me encountering one of these while safely on land? Literally zero and that’s the way I like it and the way I will be keeping it.

And maybe this doesn’t phase you, maybe you’re tougher than me, you likely are, but I guarantee you someone on your trip will jokingly kid that Jack could’ve survived too and honestly hearing that is worse/more annoying than any of the scenarios I’ve discussed so far.

o-TITANIC-MISTAKE-570

So, now you’ve been educated. Waste your hard-earned money at your own risk, but don’t say you were not adequately warned.


Two Buttons Deep is a news & entertainment website based in upstate New York. For more stuff worth talking about, visit our newsfeed, and stay up to date on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.