We knew it was coming and the day is finally here. Tiger Woods’ DUI video has been released from the Jupiter PD and the world has tuned in to see the former World Champion golfer yield to accomplish walking in a straight line.
After a daunting week of viral mugshots and endless jabs, mostly along the line of “this is the straightest Tiger has driven in years” – the world finally gets a taste of what happened on that faint Monday morning.
In his statement following the arrest, Woods said he experienced an “unexpected reaction” to prescription medication, and was adamant that alcohol wasn’t involved. That seemed to be a boldfaced lie, considering TMZ reported that officers at the scene smelled alcohol on his breath.
But as it turns out, officials say Woods passed a breathalyzer test at 4:28 a.m. He underwent back surgery in February, and four drugs –– Solarex, Vicodin, Torix and Vioxx –– were listed under medical conditions in the police writeup of the incident. With four back surgeries since 2014, in addition to four operations on his left knee, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that Woods is addicted to painkillers. At least, it’s a more feasible explanation for what happened Monday morning than the notion that he’s a drunken lunatic.
But now here he is, stumbling to accomplish baby tasks and completely not in the rankings of the golf world (that’s proper terminology, right?), but is this the beginning of the end for the golfer of our generation, or the spawn of resurrection?
I would love to see a Tiger return to the top. From the pits of a DUI to the top of the world in Golf, that would really show the world what’s possible and his Nike sponsor “Just Do It” would be BOOMIN. However, the realist in me knows that just ain’t gonna happen. I mean, look at the size of his calfs, it looks like he hasn’t done a squat since 2007.
On the other hand, his ex girlfriend posting this taunting instagram post just hours after his arrest tells the world her squats are in full force.
Tough week to be a Tiger.
Two Buttons Deep is a news & entertainment website based in upstate New York.
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