Blockbuster is a trademark registry in the nostaligia of 80’s and 90’s babies. It’s like Netflix with real walls and real people and a dank lineup of real candy at the register.
At its peak, Blockbuster had 9,094 stores and employed 84,300 nerdy 17-year-olds wearing cargo pants by choice.
We didn’t mind. For a movie & chill sesh, whether it be with family or a lover, meant that you were taking a trip to Blockbuster to pick out of a movie. There was something powerful about browsing through aisles of genres (and more importantly judging everyone in their for their assumed selection). This gif is as close to the feels as I can express, take it for what it’s worth.
Anyway, clearly Netflix and Redbox came along and swept ’em off the face of this earth…Until now. The Last Blockbuster is narrating the life of a posthumous retail entity surviving merely by the parody of SNL and one lone twitter account.
Let’s enjoy 15 tweets which prove why I have nothing but love for what we have left of the ever great, Blockbuster.
1.They’re still not afraid to talk themselves up
Underdogs never came back from the dead? I guess You've never heard of Jesus.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 23, 2016
2. They clearly know how to survive in a posthumous world
If you're going to dollar tree please park in our lot and make the walk over. It helps people know were open— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 23, 2016
3. They only spit the facts
Amazon Prime will never have that Blockbuster smell.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 23, 2016
4. They support by 17-year-old white guy joke
We take pride in hiring only the best sophomores and juniors.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 25, 2016
5. They’re not above the fact they were the nation’s pitstop between the dealer and home
A lot of the popular high school kids come in for videos and snacks.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 25, 2016
6. They don’t take your shit
Please don't use our bathrooms unless you'll be renting a movie or video game. There's an Ace Hardware next door.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 25, 2016
7. But why couldn’t this happen when I was there?
Listen, if you rent 3 movies you can take as many Sour Straws as you want.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 27, 2016
8. Now that’s just upsetting
Due to financial strain, we will no longer be purchasing any new additions of the Air Bud series.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 29, 2016
9. Apply this to all workplaces please
Some of us are pretty hungover and want to close early. Were you guys planning on coming in today?— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) May 7, 2016
10. I’m guilty for this one.
Okay, you don't have to spend your money here but you DEFINITELY don't have to point and laugh when you drive by.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) May 11, 2016
11. Ahhh, the 90’s.
If your kid so much as looks into the adult film section we're legally allowed to administer physical discipline.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) May 19, 2016
12. They never really quite nailed the “recommended section” so you browsed everything yourself
We have a wonderful selection of uplifting Pixar films if you're going through a divorce or similar legal dispute.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) May 21, 2016
13. Most likely a Karen
Our manager showed up to work today in a neck brace but we're all too afraid to ask what happened.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) May 25, 2016
14. Good to know.
It's pretty arrogant to waltz in here today and expect to get your hands on a copy of Independence Day.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) July 4, 2016
15. Let’s just agree that Blockbuster didn’t die, they simply reincarnated into Best Buy.
If you're going to make Blockbuster fan art please use our official brand colors – mustard chunk and moist navy.— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) May 5, 2017
Just some food for thought.
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