What’s Worse: This Guy Dropping His Engagement Ring Off A Bridge, Or The Fact Engagement Rings Are Nothing But A Marketing Scam?

A marriage is proposal is something that is romanticized into your mind every since you were a kid. A landmark checkpoint in the lifecycle of a stereotypical American. Reproducing without marriage is unorthodox, getting married without a ring proposal is…how it was always done, but we’ll touch on that later.

Engagements are nerve racking. I get it. You must counterbalance kneeling down, saying one rehearsed sentence AND holding a piece of jewelry that literally fits around your finger. It can be tough. Your adrenaline is pumping, you pray the photographer you hired to hide in the bushes is getting your good side, and all you can concentrate on is not fumbling your words…or the ring.

It seems every week there’s a new EpicFail™ video of a poor guy dropping the engagement ring and you’re glued to the screen to see how things pan out. I don’t know if it’s a newer trend or if cell phones have just captured these moments of schadenfreude that have been happening for the past 90 years. Either way, I’m a big fan of these.

Here is this weeks coming to you from Kansas City. How does it pan out? Not good.

Kansas City Star – Dating for four years, Kansas City couple Seth Dixon and Ruth Salas were ready to take the plunge into marriage. They just never anticipated having to literally go diving for the engagement ring.

On Saturday evening that’s what happened, captured on a friend’s video, when Dixon got on one knee on the footbridge spanning a corner of the pond at Loose Park. He flipped open the box holding the $3,000 diamond engagement ring he is still making payments on.

Then, oops, the ring popped out of the box. It bounced twice, then fell through the bridge’s wooden slats. Dixon is captured on video on both knees, mouth agape, trying to grab it.


I think there should be a new rule that any couple who fumbles the engagement ring during a proposal should take the hint from God, leave the diamond in the ground where it came from, pack your bags and continue on your separate paths. You tried, but it just isn’t gonna work out.

But of course Seth is gonna put in that work for the ring, which slip into the mucky pond beneath them. And by that, I mean he’s gonna let 8 passerby’s sift through the muck while he watches from above scratching his head.

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The fact Seth, an Uber driver who just lost his $3,000 ring, isn’t head deep scrapin’ the bottom of the pond ’til his face turns blue leads me to believe that he doesn’t really care that much. Either he see’s this as a cop-out from a mundane marriage, he can’t swim, or Seth knows that engagement rings are a crock of shit. 

 

Here’s the reality of engagement rings, although the use of diamonds in jewelry date back to the 1300’s, they were never used for engagement purposes until 1930. Yup, 1930. Why? A diamond company De Beers (real name) needed something to turn around sales after the diamond industry took a hit during the Great Depression. They teamed up with the Philadelphia-based advertising agency, N.W. Ayer who introduced the legendary diamond campaign, “A Diamond Is Forever.”

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This sent our nation of young men into a frenzy, as this sole campaign successfully turned a failing market into a psychological necessity, all during a period of war and economic turmoil.

So yes, engagement rings are literally nothing more than an advertising campaign. And now when I see compilations of nervous men dramatically dropping the piece of jewelry, all I can think to say is….sucker.

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