No, your eyes are not deceiving you. Budweiser is out there right now trying to push a 3240 rack of beer at Costco in Montreal. This is real life.
Let’s be clear, nobody with a brain ever drinks bud because they like beer. Budweiser isn’t a beer, it’s a vehicle. A vehicle to become intoxicated. You drink bud at tailgates, concerts, every high school party you ever went to, not because you want to, just because you can.
There’s no such thing as just having “1” bud, it’s minimum 3. So I get it, a 30 rack may not suffice the world anymore, and of course our innovative neighbors of the north were one step ahead of you realizing you have an alcohol problem, and now there’s this.
Although I’m down for the game, I have a ton of questions.
First of all, what’s the process of receiving this rack? Do you walk out of the store with you and your boys and flaunt it around the back of your pickup truck like a trophy? The worst part of buying a 30 rack is carrying it up the stairs into your home. Beer is a big part of the reason I want to live on the first floor I wish I was kidding.
Also, do we realize paying $4700 for 3240 beers amounts to $1.45/can. That is simply not a good deal. Where is the quantity discount here? You pay less than a dollar/beer when you buy a 30 rack, why in god’s name are people out here paying double while working twice as hard to lug it home?
What is the lifespan of a beer? Let me answer my own question right now…110 days! That’s 30 beers a day! So all you’re doing yourself is saving yourself 110 trips to the beer store so you can save up for that really expensive one to the hospital.
Lastly the price should be $1,000 even. Like Budweiser is doing these people any favors with this promotion. They’re lucky enough Americans consider their beer as a mainstay when we all know damn well it tastes like carbonated flood water.
Two Buttons Deep is a news & entertainment website based in upstate New York.
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