I Shouldn’t Be As Excited As I Am For Target’s New $5 Wine Selection

Sip, sip, hooray! Are you ready to make even more pour decisions at Target? How ’bout five? Your Target run is about to get a whole lot better, because if strolling through its aisles wasn’t already the retail therapy session you needed, they’ve recently introduced a new $5 wine collection, California Roots.

If you caught Taylor’s NAMB, then you are privy to a mini venting sesh surrounding her ability to blend wine, logic, and Common Core math: why is it that $12 for an entire bottle of wine is too expensive, but $6 for a glass is such a good deal, she’ll get two? Can you relate?

So to no surprise, Target hit the bullseye and is now jubilantly selling five wine blends crafted with, “premium, California-grown grapes.”

5 is the key number here. I mean, it makes sense. All the best things have the number 5 involved in it somehow. To name a few: Five Guys, 5 Golden Rings, The Jackson Five5 senses, 5 Great Lakes, Pentatonix, vowels, the Spice Girls –you get it.

Will we be able to name a more iconic quintet than the California Roots collection? We’ve got Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Moscato, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Red Blend.

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Disclaimer: To my dismay, wine can not be sold in supermarkets in New York state. But this story prevails for you out of staters, or when you find yourself on a road trip casually looking for wine at Target. 

While Target’s wine line is priced higher than Trader Joe’s infamous Two-Buck Chuck, (more like $2.99 + tax Chuck since we’re in NY and being real), but less than Amazon’s newest wine label, Next, which is produced by Oregon’s King Estate Vineyards for Amazon’s sole distribution. Next Pinot Gris is $20, the Red Blend is $30 and the Pinot Noir is $40.

Alcohol is among “Target’s fastest-growing categories,” according to the company. (not surprising!) “We’re out to give our guests even more reasons to love Target — including exclusive products they can’t find anywhere else,” says Jeff Burt, senior vice president of food and beverage. “And we think they’re going to love California Roots — these wines are just the right blend of incredible quality and amazing value that guests can expect at Target.”

Now, Target isn’t exactly new to the wine game, as its beloved WineCube has been a hit for fourteen years now, but when you need to up the ante, on a scale of 1 to Real Housewives, how classy is it to show up to a dinner party shindig with a box of wine? We can feign better than that.

Even if you’re not in college anymore cheap wine may hold a special place in your heart, and that’s because there’s nothing better than getting buzzed on a couple bucks. So whether you’re headed to a dinner party or a casual stoop sesh, we all need to be a little extra sometimes, amirite? Now’s the time to think (and drink) outside of the box.

Another great reason to buy decent cheap wine is to play mixologist for your frands, and I called on one who’s skilled in that department for a recipe, because why wouldn’t I take advice for a hybrid cocktail from someone who says, “…just call me Boozy Crocker because the only things I can make are related to alcohol.”

 

It’s too bad Target didn’t plant California Roots on shelves for the bulk of the Back-to-School shopping season. I mean, can you imagine if wine was on the shelves during Target Mom’s 2017 shopping trip? “YOU get some wine, teacher, and YOU get some wine, teacher – ALL TEACHERS GET WINE!!!”



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