Tom Golisano, the founder of Albany-based Paychex, a payroll and human resources consulting firm, has a net worth of $3.2 billion. Being that rich sounds awesome, right? Until you’re in the news for holding back $90,000 of school taxes you owe.
Why not just pay them? Oh, because there is a literal sh*t ton of geese feces in his yard in South Bristol, NY nestled within the picturesque lakefront views of Canandaigua Lake. Golisano says between 50-200 geese land on his 2,900 square foot property at any given moment and reek havoc all over his lawn, to the point where people can’t even step on a single patch of grass.
He refuses to pay the taxes because he feels its the responsibility of the town to make his home a more livable place before he hands over the funds owed as a result of the property he owns. Golisano claims he’s tried every trick there is to scare the geese away: from dogs chasing them, to spraying a hose, loud sound clappers but the birds refuse to leave. So now, it’s up to the town supervisor and the DEC to take this matter into their own hands and find a solution that allows this guy some geese and quiet (ha ha, I mean peace and quiet) so that he can pay the taxes and keep stackin’ the billions.
This is a tough situation because let’s be real, the schoolchildren who need those tax dollars didn’t do anything personal to the guy. I really can’t say I blame him though, geese are territorial jerks. They won’t back down from anything and have seemed to make themselves quite cozy on a very rich man’s lawn.
One thing I think Tom needs to consider is one final scaring tactic that might finally rid these geese for good so he can finally pay up. I happen to have in my possession the scariest outfit that no geese would want to face head on, a prehistoric monster that’s been training for this very type of moment. Let me have at ’em, I won’t let you down.
Two Buttons Deep is a news & entertainment website based in upstate New York.
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