Movember is one of my favorite times of the year. Not only is it the only month where rocking a duster is socially acceptable, but it also raises awareness on mens prostate Cancer.
"Smile if you love men's prostates!" – Toby Flenderson pic.twitter.com/J2PlXuoiOL
— The Office Quotes (@TheOffice_PA) January 29, 2015
How serious is mens prostate cancer? I’ll hit you with some facts.
In 2017 there are about 161,360 new cases of prostate cancer.
Of those 161,360 cases, 26,730 will pass away from it.
Prostate cancer is the third leading cause of cancer death in American men, behind lung cancer and colorectal cancer and about 1 man in 39 will die of prostate cancer. 1 in 7 men will unfortunately be diagnosed with this terrible disease in their lifetime. That’s right fellas, it is INCREDIBLY serious.
So what can you do to help? For starters you can go to a bunch of different places to donate money. You can go to the Prostate Cancer Foundation to help find a cure. Along with donating money, you can rock a bitchin’ mustache. Not only will you be helping stop this disease but you also look like an absolute savage.
I’ve come up with 4 different mustaches to bring to your attention as you may seem them in the wild this month. So without further ado, this is what your mustache says about you.
Check out this high key thicc stache. This mustache is above and beyond the most powerful of all mustaches. Guys, everyone knows that when you have a child you automatically gain dad strength. It’s just science. However, what you may not know is that you can now rock one of the most intimidating mustaches on Planet Earth. No one and I mean NO ONE fucks with a guy with dad stache. It’s all about respect with this muzzy and I salute anyone with a look like this.
THE ROLLIE FINGER
The Rollie Finger is something I like to call, The Fancy Boy Stache. Most guys rocking the Fancy Boy are just that- fancy boys. Hipsters from all around the United States like to rock this look, and you know what? I don’t hate it. This look may not be for me but it definitely does class up the mustache game. There’s not to many mustaches you can pull of in a three piece suit but this one you for sure can. Movember is all about bringing awareness to mens prostate and no other stache can do that like the Fancy boy.
THE BAD ASS STACHE
This guy gives zero fucks. You know how they say a mullet is business in the front and party in the back? Well the mullet is the Bad Ass Stache’s little brother. As the life of the party, the bad ass stache commands respect much like the dad Stache. While the Dad stache controls your actions with respect, the bad ass stache controls your actions with fear. Ever heard of someone get into an altercation with someone with a bad ass stache? That’s right, me neither because 1. It hasn’t happened or 2. It has an that person is no longer with us.
THE DIRT STACHE
Last but not least I bring to you the dirt stache. Now, this look has received negative reviews throughout the course of history and I’m here to put an end to it. You know what I see when I see a dirt stache? I see a character guy. This individual obviously knows he doesn’t look great, but he also wasn’t blessed with the genetics of a super hairy human. Like the dad stache, I respect the dirt stache in a different way. Even though the dad stache is the alpha, the dirt stache is the little engine that could and that’s something I think we should all get behind.
There are so many other mustaches styles you can do but these are what I like to call the core four. If you rock these styles, not only do I respect you but so should everyone else. Again, if you want to donate to Prostate cancer click on this link and let the money fly. Not only should we raise money for a great cause but fellas, lets raise some awareness!
The Ked Stache
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