Cards Against Humanity Is Purchasing A Piece Of The U.S.-Mexican Border So Trump Can’t Build A Complete Wall

You can take your Fox News-Keurig debacle and shelf it because we’ve got something way hotter on our hands. Cards Against Humanity is purchasing a few acres of land along the U.S.-Mexican border and not allowing President Trump to build a wall on it.


Oh, and they’re also going bat-shit crazy in the process.

The insanely popular card game just released a holiday marketing campaign which entails a request for $15. With that $15, you will receive 6 random surprises in the mail throughout the month of December. Here are their words, not mine.

Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans. He is so afraid that he wants to build a twenty-billion dollar wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing. So we’ve purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built.

On Day 1, all Cards Against Humanity Saves America recipients will get an illustrated map of the land, a certificate of our promise to fight the wall, some new cards, and a few other surprises.

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It takes a set of balls for a corporation (is a card game a corporation?) to go up against a President like that. You know you’re going to piss off 50% of the country by doing so, which means 50% of your business. However I really can’t envision a West Virginian man who still believes coal mining will make a return to be the type of person to play a card game purchased from the internet with his friends. I don’t think their hobbies expand beyond guns, Fox News, and never getting undressed from their work uniform.


Anyways, like I said, CAH has gone off the wall (no pun intended). They’re holding no punches, not even trying to be subtle about their loath for Trump. Here’s a taste from their FAQ section:

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I love it. Don’t know who in their marketing department thought this was a good idea but I LOVE IT. 

Gimme some more!!!

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Will they actually go through with this? I don’t know. I feel like Trump had already thought through how he would build on everybody else’s land who owns property along the border. But then again, he didn’t even think through how we’re gonna pay for it so scratch everything I just said. I bet he has to take every property owner to court before he can even break ground, which Cards Against Humanity is prepared for.

I think this is absolutely brilliant. I’m all aboard Cards Against Humanity Saves America. Will they save it? Probably not. But damn shit like this keeps me going.

You better believe I sent in $15 just for kicks. I’ll follow up with the surprises as they come.

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But of course not before answering some typical survey questions:

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I’ve always wanted to fly. Contribute your $15 to the wall here.

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Author: Captain Jack

Founder of Two Buttons Deep. Once went four buttons deep but that was a bad decision. Avid Hawaiian shirt enthusiast. Troy, NY.

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