I hate how likable Chance The Rapper is. Everything he does is embedded with gold, he’s the Tom Hanks of Chicago, and this weekend he struck again. This time as a meteorologist.
Ok, the real reason I hate how likable Chance is is because I just realized that he’s younger than me. Yup, these reports are dropping that 24-year-old Chance did this….but on Friday I turned…..25. There has to be some phobia about seeing people younger than you do more than you. I don’t compare any features of myself to other people, just age. Like I see Aaron Judge crushing the MLB and in the running for MVP and I’m like “he’s 6 months older than me, I’ve got time.” But then I see Chance was born post-me and I’m just like “god damnit what have I been doing my entire life.”
I don’t know what it’s called, but I have it.
Anyways, the report. I’ll give it a 6/10, not super funny. Of course every outlet is all like “Chance KILLED IT as meteorologist” “he should be hired” but he shouldn’t, it was smile-worthy at best. Except meteorologists are the only employed Americans who can do their job correctly 50% of the time and still remain employed, so I guess Chance could fill in, but he’s got bigger fish to fry…
“My advice: I’ve been doing this for 20 years,” station weatherman (and two buttons deep connoisseur) Konrad said. “All you have to do is really just smile, be relatively sexy, just read some numbers and you’re good to go.”
I’d say “relatively Zac Brown Sexy” is more up to speed, but I get what he’s saying, and I’ll never talk down someone that stays two buttons deep on the job.
The real reason this story is so enlightening is why Chance was there in the first place, like I said, everything he does is embedded in gold.
The WGN Morning News Drive-Thru Toy Drive celebrated its 15th year, the first year benefiting SocialWorks Chicago, a youth empowerment charity brought to you by Chance The Rapper. This five-hour event featured Santa, holiday fun, and an appearance by Chance. Viewers and companies drove through to drop off a record 37,000 toys for needy kids. Photos and videos of today’s fun can be found at wgntv.com/toydrive.
God damnit Chance you are cool. And also possibly better as a reporter:
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