Marko to ESPN: Stick to Covering Bowling, Not MMA

ESPN is the 47 year old newly divorced dad trying to be “in” with his 22 year old son’s clique. The relentless attempts to be hip fail over and over again, reassuring us that this brands existence is crumbling into ruins of corny one-liners and fake laughs.

It should be no surprise however, how many times have we had to listen to someone with a college degree and no sports experience tell us what its like to be in the midst of battle in a sport they most likely never played or at least don’t play today.

It’s not really the fact that I have to listen to some bird with a diploma tell me about MMA, its more-so that these birds keep chirping, these are annoying birds that like to be ultra critical on their critique of professional athletes, and speak on situations they themselves have never experienced. This type of commentary has been referred to “insult commentary” by Joe Rogan, who fears this type of ESPN commentary is now leaking into MMA.

In his recent MMA show #14 with Matt Brown, he brought this up and Brown shared his thoughts on Snoop Dogg, a licensed MMA commentator under a UFC contract, for calling Conor McGregor a bitch during his loss to one of the best boxers to ever live, Floyd Mayweather.


We’re starting to see people who’ve never fought tell us about fighting. Men who’ve never tasted their own blood, felt the pressure and strength of another human being drown them to a point where they feel completely helpless while being strangled until they pass out unconscious. Guys who don’t even train becoming critical on professional fighters.

These are men who sacrifice their health to the utmost degree in front of their friends and family, and to walk back to the locker room after a loss must be an unspeakable feeling of disappointment and sadness.

Notice how I said “must be”, instead of “is”, ESPN? Notice how I didn’t speak on fighting in a cage like I know what its like to fight in a cage in front of millions of people because I DON’T FIGHT IN A CAGE AGAINST THE MOST DANGEROUS MEN BREATHING FOR A LIVING.

I have no place even criticizing any fighter ever because I don’t know what they’re going through. I’ve been choked out in jiu-jitsu classes, yup, maybe punched in the face a couple times sparring boxing, but I’ve never fought to the death for sport, so I’m going to STFU when it comes to trying to bash fighters who may have not put on their best performance for an array of reasons from exhaustion from weight cutting, staff infection, torn ligaments or broken bones, you never know what a fighter is facing when they step into that ring or cage.

Outside of the fact that ESPN should stick to commentating on darts and bowling, not MMA. The analysts are corny, and it’s turned into a shitty broadway show with B-list celebrities. The simple fact that Lavar Ball had a ESPN camera crew follow him overseas should show you where their integrity for the sports they cover lies. It’s become about entertainment, in the worst of ways, and it’s not getting better.

You’re reaching, ESPN, it’s over, just accept it. Do as nature intends, walk out into the forest, and bleed out with dignity. Stop sticking around, it’s just sad, it’s disappointing, and it’s embarrassing to the greats who founded you. You had your day, it’s over, denial is a bad look, stop that, please, for all of us.

You’re the 47 year old dad at the night club telling a 26 year old girl about your glory days.

Go home ESPN, you’re drunk.

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