Really, America? I know we’ve fallen on some hard times as of late, but flipping out (literally, FLIPPING OUT — I’m talking to you, Jason) because United Airlines tried to limit their in-flight beverage options by removing tomato juice is insane behavior.
That’s right. United Airlines recently announced they’d be removing a few options from the free drink menu in effort to streamline things. If this were any regular airline, you’d think to yourself, “How is that going to streamline things?” but as we know, United is no ordinary air carrier anymore.
For flights less than four hours long, United told tomato juice, Jim Beam, Sprite Zero and Courvoisier (what is that?) to catch another ride. Again, a regular person wouldn’t take issue with this, but clearly we are also not dealing with ordinary people either.
There’s two issues here, the tomato juice freakout being the more shocking, but Issue #1 still need to be addressed and that is that United Airlines CANNOT catch a break.
From banning leggings on flights to knocking a man unconscious, to yes, killing a pup in an overhead bin, every piece of news about this airline is no bueno.
If I were United, I would be making as few changes as possible, unless they were like really good changes to keep customers happy and make them forget about all the controversy the last few years has brought. But is it really going to change that much about the operation to skip out on a couple extra cans? I have to think not.
But who cares, United is just enjoying every minute of this downward spiral and hopefully getting really good at crisis communication and really quick Twitter replies in the process.
But this part, the part that people took to Twitter in the first place to express their massive discontent toward canceling tomato juice, is mind blowing to me.
— Jaime Pulfer (@Pulfer680News) May 10, 2018
If you drink plain tomato juice anywhere, you’re a weirdo. Just last night at our 2BD team meeting, I publicly stated to the squad my confusion with people who drink milk with dinner. Shit, I might’ve even said that people who drink milk with dinner belong on some sort of police-warranted registry…but we will save that debate for another time (hint: Nobody Asked Me, But…).
We are adults in 2018 and when an airline cancels serving a free drink, we act like children and throw a temper tantrum on the internet for the whole world to see. I’m all for standing up for what you believe in, but is it really worth it when what you believe in is tomato juice, and that fact alone makes you questionable and maybe even dangerous to society??????
But, according to science and the internet, there are a couple of things that might explain why people were so bummed about this.
1. Bloody Mary’s, obviously
All of us adults know there is only one real way to drink tomato juice, and that is mixed up in a spicy AF Bloody Mary. So, if that’s the reason people are bummed I completely understand. And if you’re one of those clever travelers who brings their own airplane bottles of vodka and only orders the tomato juice from the flight attendant, this is definitely going to sting a little. I did that once and got seriously reprimanded, so I’ve learned that lesson already and switched to vodka and OJ.
2. Tomato juice tastes better on an airplane
Can we get the Mythbusters to investigate this one? Apparently, the sweetness and the saltiness of the drink just tastes better while cruising at 36,000 feet? I don’t believe this for ONE SECOND. You need vodka in this to make is bearable at any altitude, and if you’re going to order something you usually wouldn’t (’cause ya know, it’s fo’ free) why is this your number one choice?
Luckily for these grown ass adults, United answered their outrageous cries for help and said OK fine, we’ll keep it. Are you guys happy now? Really? You’re basically saying they can still stuff puppies in the overhead bin as long as you can sip on some sweet clammy red juice. What-ever.
— United Airlines (@united) May 10, 2018
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