Over 50% of our Audience Believes Boat Shoes Are a Turnoff and My Mind is Boggled

The polls are in, and young men all over are in for some news I don’t think we’re ready to hear. Over 50% of people think boat shoes are a turn off….Yup.

Here’s how we got here. We were shooting Taylor’s Nobody Asked Me, But… segment last week and while we were reviewing her jokes, one of them said that her worst fear was going on a date with somebody wearing boat shoes.

“What???????” I said.

I actually couldn’t believe it. It was half ignorance, half shock as I calculated the amount of days I have worn boat shoes, probably on dates too. Maybe that’s why Taylor broke up with me in middle school?

My main question, which is where the ignorance plays in I guess, is if a guy isn’t wearing boat shoes, then what is he wearing? You want a dude wearing Fila’s in the summer heat? Fila’s and cargo shorts? You want a dude wearing flip flops? Dress shoes with socks? What the hell is a guy gonna wear on a summers day that makes him look cool while also being practical? My mind is boggled.

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I overreacted to such a degree that Taylor almost changed her mind, as she should, and we almost cut the joke. But then I said, you know what? Keep it, and I hope people eat you alive for hating America’s go-to foot platform for men 16-34. So we rolled with it for the video and did a poll on our Instagram story and I’m really shook up about the response.

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55% of people think boat shoes are a turn off????? How? They are as practical as they are fashionable: fairly. They’re not gonna rock the boat and they don’t make you look out of place anywhere other than a professional office or on a date with Taylor.

I would have assumed less than 10% of people who vote it’s a turnoff, but what the hell do I know? I just hope the ladies think long and hard before judging men wearing boat shoes. They’re comfortable, durable and a nice neutral shoe for practically all situations. I think they just hate them because people like to associate boat shoes with the vineyard vine “my Dad’s a lawyer” douchebags and you know what? That’s completely fair.

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Okay I changed my mind. Boat shoes are as much of a turnoff as the brands and colors that correspond with them. Fair? Fair.



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Author: Jack

Founder of Two Buttons Deep. Once went four buttons deep but that was a bad decision. Avid Hawaiian shirt enthusiast. Troy, NY.

One thought

  1. “I just hope girls thing long and hard before they judge men wearing boat shoes”

    Maybe it’s because dudes who wear boat shoes call women “girls”?

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