There’s an Emu Named Charles on the Loose in Rensselaer County

One of the main issues of running a news outlet focused on “stuff worth talking about” in Upstate New York (and not your daily roundup of murders, fires and ODs you see on the local outlets) is that it’s not everyday that something genuinely exciting happens. Most days we spend time reaching for stories or discussing national or personal topics. But today is not one of those days. We have an Emu on the loose in Rensselaer County, and his name is Charles.

Charles looks like he’s been plotting this for quite some time. Look at that face. Tell me it’s not the emu-version of the meme girl who is definitely seeing what she wants.

Anyways, obviously an emu on the loose is big news. Not everyday you run into one of these guys. They’re the hippogriffs of the real world and I’d be down to ride one, just in case it knew how to get me to Hogwarts. But allegedly, they don’t want back rides, just back rubs.

“We assume he’s heading towards Petersburg.” As if they found messages from this bird’s phone with plans to head to the city to meet with a peacock he met on Tinder. This emu is a man with a plan and I respect it. Nobody is gonna mess with him just as much as I don’t believe anybody would voluntarily rub the back of the horse bird they found walking down Main street.

I think Charles and I would get along very well if we crossed paths. We’re both 6 feet tall and lanky, we both live in Upstate and we both enjoy getting our backs rubbed. I also have a very cool garden in my backyard where he could eat all the veggies he wanted to.

So Charles, if you’re making any other plans after your peacock time, head West to Troy. I swear I won’t try and ride you.



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Author: Jack

Founder of Two Buttons Deep. Once went four buttons deep but that was a bad decision. Avid Hawaiian shirt enthusiast. Troy, NY.

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