Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande’s Engagement Seems About as Stable as my 9th Grade Relationship

Listen I do my best to keep this outlet from turning into E! News because that shit rots my brain and everybody else who consumes it. But sometimes celebrity drama boggles my mind so bodaciously I have no choice but to write about it. Enter Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande, two different-list celebrities who recently kicked it off and then BAM got engaged after a solid 1 month of dating at the ripe old age of 24.

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First of all, no big relationship milestone should be made within 3 months of dating. Moving in together, babies on purpose, or marriage. That’s just a formula for disaster and right now the duo has checked off 2/3. It doesn’t take rocket science to understand why Pete would jump the gun on this. Him, a mildly successful comedian from Staten Island who is now a few years deep into his tenure at SNL, all of a sudden bumping uglies with Ariana Grande, a platinum selling international pop star worth 45 million dollars with a social following over 120 times the size of Pete’s. So yeah, I get it. But I also can very clearly see that this relationship has the same stability as my 9th grade relationship did.

Like any immature relationship, the entire thing is flexed online for the world to see, and in especially immature relationships, in emojis. I did the same thing in middle school except it was in AIM icons in my profile. Had to let the world know how committed I was based on font size and amount of hearts used to recognize by S.O.

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I’m all about showin’ love for an S.O. online, gotta stake claims and keep the horndogs out of the DMs. But there are subtle reminders to the world that you’re dating, then there’s flexing, and flexing always certainly is the cause of major underlying issues.IMG_7504.PNG

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It’s slightly painful to watch. If this couple had been together for 5 years, yeah maybe they’re on the a whole other level that we don’t understand. But they haven’t, it’s been 5 weeks. And Ariana is fresh off a 5-year relationship with Mac Miller so I’m sure this is a rebound gone array and now the whole world cares about the situation. But it’s clear this relationship is built on eggshells and they’re trying to cement it with the internet. I give it 2 months maximum before it’s called off, as that’s how my 9th grade relationship panned out and the similarities are alarming. Maybe some people want it to happen, but I know most people probably know it’s pretty damn stupid.

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Author: Jack

Founder of Two Buttons Deep. Once went four buttons deep but that was a bad decision. Avid Hawaiian shirt enthusiast. Troy, NY.

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