You ever wonder why they say you shouldn’t “operate heavy machinery” while intoxicated instead of just saying, “don’t drive a car when you’re drunk?”
Well, because while heavy machinery and a car are one in the same for most people, some people have bigger plans in mind for when they’re going all buttons deep, like the Central NY man who had a blood-alcohol content of .37 when cops found him driving his lawn mower in the middle of the road.
In case you live under a rock or can’t do basic math, .37 is over FOUR TIMES the .08 legal limit for driving under the influence of alcohol.
Dude, what? I get that there’s not a whole lot going on in the rural areas of Central NY, but what kind of day were you having yourself that lead you to being so damn drunk and irresponsible?
Maybe there were no available Ubers and he had to be his own ride back from the local pub, or perhaps mowing the lawn across a 20-acre field is so boring that you have to bring a 30-rack of road sodas along for the trip.
I am not completely sure I would still be ALIVE if my BAC was over four times the legal limit, but this guy did probably the worst thing you can do, get behind the wheel intoxicated.
I’d rather see someone get arrested for sending their entire list of Snapchat friends a dick pic while drunk than ride your tractor in the middle of nowhere and somehow still get the attention of the authorities. He probably had 3 more beers just while he was waiting for the police to come arrest him.
Strange news, yes. But in New York’s defense, this still isn’t half as bad as what goes down in Florida.
Two Buttons Deep is a news & entertainment website based in upstate New York.
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