Pornhub Is Offering Free (Leaf) Blow Jobs to Dutchess County Residents

(Poughkeepsie Journal) The adult video website is teaming with Poughkeepsie-based Dutchess Lawns for a three-day promotion in which Dutchess residents and businesses can receive free leaf blowing and removal. The requests will be satisfied Wednesday through Friday this week, on a first-come, first-served basis, Jay Lotaj, CEO of Dutchess Lawns, said.

Any home or business can receive the service by sending a request to a suggestively named email address — blows@pornhub.com. Customers must include their name, address, phone number and proof of address in the request, and they must present a valid ID matching the request when the crew arrives, according to a release from Pornhub

Pornhub wanted to launch the promotion in an upstate New York area, given its reputation for fall foliage, and chose Dutchess at random, according to the company. It hopes to follow a similar process in expanding the leaf-blowing service to other areas, but nothing has yet been planned.

957ab849-8dfb-49a9-9a93-fa4dfac05429-PH2

When I first saw this I had to pinch myself. How could a porn conglomerate such as Pornhub think this idea up? I’m not saying it’s a bad idea. I just would have liked to been a fly on the wall when some guy was pitching this at the board meeting.

“So you see Mr. Johnson if we offer free leaf removal for out customers then they would have more time to visit our site. Just have a look at this chart I’ve constructed”

Screen Shot 2018-11-07 at 11.07.59 AM.png

In my fucked up head after the presentation this guy got a standing ovation and they got right to work on this wonderful idea. Let’s just get this straight real quick. If you wanted to order these services you would reach out to them at blows@pornhub.comPornhub is out here giving blowies for no charge and they don’t want anything in return.

I’m telling ya the internet never seizes to amaze me. It also has me wondering what else Pornhub has in the works? It seems to me that they would be willing to do just about anything after this.

Pornhub has had community service promotions in the past. It has offered an annual $25,000 college scholarship for the last several years, and during a 2017 snowstorm, said it would plow roads in Boston and New York City.

I myself, am a xvideos kinda guy, but after seeing this story I can see that Pornhub values their customers on a whole other level. Not just for the porn industry, but for corporations at a whole. They want you to spend more time on their platform and are willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen, even free blow jobs. 

Today we salute you Pornhub. You are a real man of genius. You don’t care how many lawns or how many leaves there are. You just want to give your valued customer a little more time to maybe go down the rabbit hole and search some real wierd shit. You say, “You stay inside, light a candle and get down to business. We’ll take the lawn work from here.” So crack open an ice cold Budweiser. This one’s for you.

Oh yeah btw, I did a little research and found out that Pornhub is a Canadian based company. I usually like to consume domestic products, but because of this I’m willing to look past it.



Two Buttons Deep is a news & entertainment website based in upstate New York.
We don’t just post the news, we post stuff worth talking about

Visit our newsfeed, and stay up to date on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

How do you feel?