Before we move on to the year ahead, it’d only be right for us to take a look back at some of the top stories that made the Two Buttons Deep blog in 2018. It’s funny –some 2BD fans don’t even know we have a blog (not great) but it’s obvious our videos are what get us noticed most of the time.
However, some of our funniest stories come from the written content by our squad members who we still can’t seem to motivate regularly to write after over two years of doing this. Yeah, that’s right. We have a bunch of divas on our hands who just want to be famous on camera. I get it. But, I’ll give them their fifteen minutes of written fame by recapping the top 10 stories from the 2BD blog in 2018 (in no particular order).
Blog: I’m Taking Donations to Bail My Future Wife Out of Jail
John never strays away from making borderline too-many-buttons-deep jokes about self-pleasure (i.e. Circle Jerk enterprises), and what his life is like as a 30-something bachelor living in the hood above his family’s pork store. So, it wasn’t surprising when he fell in love at first
sight mugshot with Karen and told our audience his exact game plan for the rest of his time on earth.
I just need to find out where Immigrations and Customs Enforcement has my bride locked up and I will be on my way with bail money and a ring. I’m sure her meltdown was simply a misunderstanding and I can forgive that. I would be mad too if I was with the wrong man this whole time. I’m the man for her, and now it’s time to track down my bride.
It’ll be funny when Karen and I are reflecting on this years from now telling our grandchildren the story of how her knight in shining armor came and saved her from the evil Customs Enforcement people that wanted her out of this country in a modern day Repunzel. I can picture it now.
Blog: Taylor Wore a Bathing Suit in Her Last Video and Apparently the Internet Wasn’t Ready for it
Even though as co-captains, Jack and I spend a lot of our time on and off camera busting each other’s balls, he came to my defense earlier this year when I somehow supplied the internet with the first video EVER featuring slight cleavage. Rule #1 of dealing with haters is taking a screenshot of their comments.
The perverts came out in full force as if they haven’t ever seen a girl in a bikini in their life. And odds are, they probably don’t very often in real life, but this is the internet, folks.
You can find literally anything you want in abundance, and even my social media timeline is swamped with flexing shots and beach bathing pictures on a daily basis.
And I get what we do here at 2BD puts our personalities in the limelight of sorts and we do expect public feedback, but here’s your warning: when you come at us or anyone on our team, we will strike back twice as good. This is what makes 2BD so much better than any other local media outlet, there’s no rules here. We will ruin you if you try and cross us. And now your perverted comments are now screen shotted and will be on blast for all your friends and family to see for the rest of time.
Blog: Upstate Update: Weatherman G is a Weather Psychic
It’s literally impossible to get Marko to write something for the blog that isn’t associated with a video featuring his face all over it, but this one was worth the time spent typing because Weatherman G deserves the love and respect of every single one of us trying to survive the unpredictable, miserable winters in Upstate New York.
I really just want to express my love and gratitude, as you may know, I have an extreme distrust for the modern day weather man, but this guy is the real deal.
A co-worker had said something that really resonated with me while discussing the man, the myth, the legend, Weatherman G:
“You know, these weathermen on TV probably aren’t really required to be the best weathermen in the world, I wouldn’t say they’re judged mainly off their ability to predict the weather, but more so their ability to deliver a fluent weather report on TV, which would be more honed in on speaking well and giving a good presentation.
An underground weatherman like WEATHERMAN G is solely focused on the storm and nothing else. He doesn’t need a nice suit, just think, if we only let the NHL players with full sets of teeth play, hockey players skills wouldn’t be held to such high standards.”
Blog: The Death of a Dive Bar: Andrea’s Pub in Clifton Park Closes its Doors
A huge part of 2BD is covering local news, but not always the stories you hear about right away from the traditional media outlets. When Andrea’s Pub in Clifton Park somewhat suddenly closed, it affected a community of regulars who came to the bar (one I affectionately call a dive) as a place to relax before heading home from work or to socialize during a sporting event. Update: the space is still vacant and I totally have a dream that I’ll buy it.
Blog: One of Us: Teen Olympian Overslept, Lost His Coat, Dropped an F-Bomb on Live TV and Won USA Our First Gold Medal
The story of Red Gerard got the USA off to a simply incredible start in the 2018 Winter Olympic Games. And usually, there’s not much any of us can relate to when comparing ourselves with world-class athletes, but this kid truly was just a regular person like the rest of us.
When you have a big vacation starting off with an early wakeup to catch a flight, or let’s say, a once-in-a-lifetime Olympic event to go to, the responsible thing to do is to pack up everything the night before so you can be up and at ’em after a good night’s rest. Right?
Well, that’s not what Red Gerard did. Instead, he fell asleep watching Netflix and didn’t set an alarm for the next day. Then, as teenagers do, he woke up late for practice and had to be woken up by his roommate, fellow Olympic snowboarder Kyle Mack. After waking up, he scrambled for his outfit and realized he couldn’t find his precious coat, so he had to use Kyle’s and move on with the day.
Once he finally made his way to the snowboard slopestyle event, he was in last place going into the final round. Miraculously, he shot all the way to first place in the third round due to his, “creative approach to the course.”
I have to assume after being in last, he didn’t expect any place on the podium, let alone a Gold medal, and just went out there with no pressure on him. Then BAM – Gold.This is why I would argue his exclamation of “Holy Fuck” on live television was 1,000 percent merited.
Blog: 5 Things Troy Needs Before Another Barbershop
You want to piss off the locals? Just tell them there are plenty of barbershops in their hometown. Seriously, Jack got himself in a couple deep, dark internet holes when he wrote about the abundance of barbershops in downtown Troy.
And then on a separate occasion, he got roasted by a UAlbany professor for using a photo of a famous Australian barber without credit? Bad year for Jack and haircuts, (Literally, too –remember when he refused to cut his hair until we got interviewed by WNYT?)
Since moving to Troy in 2016, I have seen five new barbershops open up in immediate downtown Troy. There has to be at least 20 places to get your hair done, it’s too much. I know that good hair means more flair, but to quote the late Barbara Bush, “people who worry about their hair all the time, frankly, are boring.”
We’ve got Blendington’s, Troy Grooming Co, the Fade Factory, Jen’s Barbershop, and now Flipper’s coming into a spot where I could throw a baseball and hit two other barbershops. All these places to get a fresh peel, yet we’ve still got people going bananas for more barbershops. What’s the deal?
Blog: Jack and I Are Enjoying Our Life on the Local Celebrity D-List While We Keep Getting Bailed On by WNYT
We had a little fun with it over the few months where WNYT kept stringing us along thinking we were going to get a big break and be featured on the local news and repeatedly got our hearts broken at the last minute. Finally, the segment did air, but there were some times of doubt.
Annnnnnnd I am sure you can guess how this story ends. Because you didn’t see our smiling faces on the evening news yet, did you. This story ends with another 11th hour bail by WNYT. But you know what? It’s fine, guys. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me THREE TIMES….well that will probably still happen because we’re just going to keep trying to get on TV and then get our hearts broken repeatedly. This is life on the Local Celeb D-List, people.
We ain’t gonna give up, but we are going to give a call out to any OTHER news station that thinks 2BD has something worth talking about (hint: we do, it’s our tagline). Come on, let’s have an interview!
Blog: Taylor Rejected a Hug From Free Hugs Guy and I Still Feel Bad For Him
Probably one of the more awkward encounters I’ve had on camera, especially since Jack wouldn’t let it go after the fact. And so many people couldn’t let it go either, apparently, because we still get comments on posts to this day saying we need to interview Free Hugs Guy and make this up to him.
I was nice enough not to put this in the final cut of the video because Taylor has taken enough heat from the internet as of late. But I honestly can’t stop thinking about it, I feel so bad for him. This dude wore this shirt for the sole purpose of giving hugs which is proven to generate happiness, and Taylor wanted nothing to do with it. Stone cold.
This guy probably thought he hit the jackpot, a hug from a cool reporter on live tv, what could go wrong? Everything. He was at the forefront of 30,000 people and Taylor couldn’t even give him a charity toss, not even a one arm half you do to your elderly relatives you don’t want to break. She wanted nothing to do with him and I can only assume it has to do with the fact he was sweating buckets. But c’mon, do it for the vine!
As for the dude? I think he’ll be alright. I have to admit he handled it like a champ and didn’t let it stop him from having a good time. Maybe he was sweating so much because he hugged so many people it was a workout so it didn’t even matter that Taylor gave him the hard no. He wasn’t phased, not even for a split second. Maybe he spent the night crying about it, but he went with the flow…at least knows the first rule of improv.
Blog: The Viral Video of the Dancing Construction Worker in Schenectady Provides a Lesson in Enjoying Life
Bad news is that I heard a rumor that this story had a sad ending (the guy in the video apparently got fired for dancing on the job?) but before we knew that, this video was a positive, uplifting lesson to make the best of the mundane, daily activities…like work.
The truth is, nobody gives a shit about your problems and what you have to face everyday, so you might need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and figure out one of the infinite ways you can make your day better. You need to realize you hold a lot more power over your mood than you may think, and many times having a good day is a DECISION. You can decide to have a good day, you can decide to do something to lighten your mood. And guess what? Your decision to do that makes the lives brighter for all the other miserable SOBs you encounter in a single day.
You can decide to play some music and dance in the morning. You can decide to take a step towards bettering your physical health. Go for a walk, start small. You can decide to make a healthier choice for lunch. You can decide to not let petty gossip talk disturb your inner peace.
You have so much power to make the best of life, to have enthusiasm for life, and this man is living proof of that. Plus, he’s up to over 44,000 video views, so if you can be happy AND give yourself a chance to go viral during the process, you’re doing something right
Blog: Will Marko Ever Stop Talking About the Fact His Video Surpassed 5 Million Views?
The press conference video series was a HUGE win for 2BD in 2018, we ain’t gonna lie about that. And it’s all thanks to our two squad members Mark and John who aren’t the brains behind 2BD, but certainly are the ones who want to be famous more than Jack and I do, apparently. These million-view videos totally got to their heads, but we don’t blame them. Everybody wins here.
5,000,000 is an absurd amount of views no matter how popular you are. Primetime TV shows are lucky to get 5,000,000 views. So now here we are, a little entertainment company from Upstate NY producing content capable of generating more views than primetime TV, albeit not every post, we’re capable of it and for that, the future is bright for 2BD.
And boy is getting to Marko’s head. But at the end of the day, I can’t blame him. He’s a funny ass kid who used to be excited when his vids hit over 1K, which is a good and a bad thing. Now we’re gonna have to hit at least 100K for him to even mention it. He’s big league internet now and the rest of us gotta learn to keep up. But all I can do is hope he listens to his core advice that drove him to where he is today.