Minutes With Marko: Eggplant Bacon, Absolute Joke

As I scroll through my TL of vegan propaganda I can’t help but to become nauseous at another lack luster attempt to disguise vegetables as meat.

Here’s my thing, I don’t have problems with vegans or vegetarians eating their highly nutritious and often delicious (I’m also a big fan of edible vegetation, don’t judge a book by its cover) snacks, but it does grind my gears when I get someone trying to convince me their plant made meat is comparable, or even better *shivers* than the original product they’re trying to impersonate.

Meat eaters may get heart disease, but we also get bacon, and nobody can take that away from us.

It’s the reward for the risk we take while ingesting a depressed pig buried in a warehouse somewhere in Nebraska, or the humanely raised free range pig that lives a wonderful life until that one day those who raised and loved him decide to kindly and humanely put a bullet in its forehead.

I’ll be damned if I’m going to let someone tell me a dried out piece of eggplant with some paprika holds similarities to pork belly. You can’t have your cake and eat it too vegans, I’m sorry, I have love for yas but this is blasphemy. Imagine me trying to serve you an all meat salad with chicken lettuce and beef croutons? Feel that disgust that just plummeted to the lowest point of your gut? Now you know.

Look at this shit:

Give me a real bacon BLT and 3 years off my life like a gentlemen, thank you.

How do you feel?